new clothes

a really good book

drugs

comic books

booze for a party I'm throwing this weekend

new computer hardware

a stuffed animal

a cute little pewter castle with crystals on the towers

sexy underwear

a bread machine

car repairs

a digital watch

a new pet hamster

a new toaster

shampoo

things for my new baby

legal fees

my divorce

this month's rent

food

for the baby

for the next

week

few days

plastic surgery

I'm planning to take it to the shooting range the next time I go.

I'm sure I will put it to good use.

Everyone I konw is envious.

It looks lovely in my .

I've made it the central focus of my .

My looked empty without it.

Bob

Jim

John

Fred

Elmer

Charlie

Lester

David

Mark

Andrew

Pete

Bill

William

James

Richard

Scott

Nathan

Matt

Jeff

Archie

Tom

Harry

Vinnie

Michael

Dan

Ray

Roy

Todd

Chad

Jeremy

Jason

Kurt

Keith

Ken

Tim

Randall

Eric

Stuart

Roger

Alex

Joel

Don

Ron

Arnold

Frank

Ted

Gary

Josh

Warren

Nick

Ben

Calvin

Martin

Jake

Ed

$5

$10

$15

$20

$25

$30

$35

$40

$45

$50

$75

$100

Mary

Emily

Anne

Kathy

Natalie

Ellen

Joan

Jean

Jill

Rachel

Kendra

Sabina

Sheila

Jessica

Andrea

Megan

Alison

Robin

Lynn

Joy

Wendy

Kristin

Donna

Kim

Jen

Beth

Lisa

Angie

Sarah

Peggy

Becky

Laura

Nicole

Melanie

Miriam

Alicia

Sylvia

Clara

Julie

Rhoda

Rhonda

Greta

Amelia

Emma

Courtney

Ashley

Stephanie

Vicky

Lois

Thelma

Ruth

Elizabeth

Sandy

Stella

Carolyn

Maria

Marjorie

Edith

Teresa

Linda

Sue

Rose

April

Frances

Dora

living room

bathroom

basement

bedroom

closet

kitchen

garage

attic

dining room

hallway

guest room

sewing room

office

billiard parlor

junk drawer

backyard

doghouse

and

and

and

and

Maxim

The New Yorker

Time

Newsweek

Guns and Ammo

Esquire

GQ

Cosmopolitan

The American Spectator

The Nation

Mother Jones

Field and Stream

Reader's Digest

The Journal of the American Chemical Society

Mind

Discover

Games

MacWorld

New Republic

Wired

Grandma

Mom

Aunt

sister

Grandpa

Dad

Uncle

brother

dead

in prison

in a labor camp in Siberia

in the hospital

reported missing last month

broke

destitute

in the witness relocation program

I've already

put

stashed

it in

the bank

a shoebox

to save for

.

I'd love to spend it, but

I'm saving it to buy .

It's nice to have some "fun money" to spend, but

I've decided to save it for .

I'd love to spend it

immediately

right away

, but I need to save up for .

Dear ,

It's not much by today's standards, but every little bit helps!

It was either that or give it to the poor.

This is

just a brief note to

say

thanks

"thank you"

thank you

for the

you sent

I received from you

for .

Of all the

presents

gifts

things

stuff

I

received

got

for , I

liked

loved

your

gift of

the most

more than anything else

.

I

really

appreciate

enjoyed receiving

the you

gave

sent

me for .

I

really

love

getting

receiving

money for ,

since

because

that

it

means I can

always

go out and

spend it on

use it for

what I really

want

need

.

Thanks

Thank you

for the .

You can't imagine how surprised I was to discover that you had sent me for .

Thanks

Thank you

for the

. I

; i

t was

the perfect

a great

present

gift

for .

I don't know how to thank you

properly

enough

for the you

sent

gave

me

for .

I'm

just

writing to say

thanks

"thank you"

for the you

graciously

gave

sent

me for .

Thank you

Thanks

for the you

bestowed upon

sent

me for .

This is

just a quick note to

say "thank you"

thank you

for the

I

got

received

from you

you sent

me

for .

This is

just a brief note to

say

thanks

"thank you"

thank you

for the

you sent

I received from you

for .

Of all the

presents

gifts

things

stuff

I

received

got

for , I

liked

loved

your

gift of

the most

more than anything else

.

I

really

appreciate

enjoyed receiving

the you

gave

sent

me for .

I

really

love

getting

receiving

money for ,

since

because

that

it

means I can

always

go out and

spend it on

use it for

what I really

want

need

.

Thanks

Thank you

for the .

You can't imagine how surprised I was to discover that you had sent me for .

Thanks

Thank you

for the

. I

; i

t was

the perfect

a great

present

gift

for .

I don't know how to thank you

properly

enough

for the you

sent

gave

me

for .

I'm

just

writing to say

thanks

"thank you"

for the you

graciously

gave

sent

me for .

Thank you

Thanks

for the you

bestowed upon

sent

me for .

This is

just a quick note to

say "thank you"

thank you

for the

I

got

received

from you

you sent

me

for .

Christmas

Valentine's Day

my birthday

Easter

New Year's

Hanukkah

our wedding

our divorce

my half-birthday

my confirmation

my Bar Mitzvah

my debutante ball

my coming-out party

our first baby

my bachelor party

my bridal shower

our housewarming party

I know how much of a sacrifice this sort of gift is for you.

and tried to steal it from me, but I was too quick for them.

I'm

looking forward to getting your next gift for .

Frankly,

it was

a little

strange to get anything from you

at all

, because

I thought

my friends to me that

you were .

How thoughtful of you.

Give my love to

.

Best wishes to you

and

.

Sincerely

Love

always

,

Thank you

again

,

See you soon,

Hugs and kisses,

From,

Thanks

again

,

Peace,

Faithfully,

You'll be happy to know that

I've already spent it on .

It

's

has

already

been well-spent on .

My

mother

father

insisted that I spend it on .

Now I

finally

have enough money for .

As soon as I can,

When I get a chance,

I'm going

to the mall

and spending it on .

To be honest,

I tried to get it to the bank

I wanted to save it

, but I

realized I

needed

had

to spend it on

instead

.

I just wanted to let you know that

it's already gone towards .

I

immediately

rushed right out and

spent it on

for the first time

in years

.

As soon as I finish writing this letter,

I'm going to put it towards .

I have to admit that

I already spent it on this month's protection.

toaster

blender

pajamas

wallet

umbrella

shampoo

mouthwash

beer

disk drive

mousepad

stereo

compact disc

dart board

bread machine

moustache comb

fruitcake

towel rack

bong

jigsaw puzzle

Star Trek "Picard" doll

stuffed animal

beanbag chair

box of chocolates

microwave oven

snowblower

jacket

sweatshirt

tie

laundry detergent

fake tree

makeup kit

miniature pool table

carton of cigarettes

basketball

fake vomit

book

subscription to

"Critique of Pure Reason"